Note to self: "make an effort, work harder"

I can feel it. It's a very strong sensation taking over me. Voices in my head, whispers in my ear, saying "You could not do it", just find a new job and get a fresh start. I've been recently part of a project team in our office, a lot of people dream to have this role. It was offered to me since I was the only one they could move without much turnover needed. The thing is, it's turning out that it wasn't what I thought it would be. Or it could also be, that it's just too different than what my previous job was, it totally feels like I am out of my comfort zone. First of all, I am not a talker but a thinker. Sure, I do have questions but my ways are set to finding the answers on my own and if I couldn't that's the time I would ask. So when there are presentations, I would imagine what they are describing or pointing out and if something does not make sense to me, I'll just leave it at that and make a mental note to myself to figure it out when the actual work comes. This won't do in this project as we should be thinking ahead and start firing our what if's and all the things that are unclear so that by the time this project is implemented, we should have identified and eliminated all the possible issues. If you're working in a multinational company with a name as big as this, the bosses wouldn't accept anything that isn't a first time right. Why in the first place they hired us for this???? Second, I don't do presentations, I simply can't. Not since I performed in an auditorium and forgot the lyrics to the song I was singing . After that, every presentation that involves an audience became a nightmare for me, I become nauseous, my fingers sweat, butterflies all over my stomach. I always feel that I'd do something stupid to embarrass myself. Third, I don't feel confident about my skills. Blame it to the "auditorium" experience that I encountered and never will forget. Also, I always have this thinking that there are so many others that can do this job better than me. Back in high-school, I wasn't the brightest student, I never got any honor rolls even if half of the class did. I was even at the bottom ten. I wasn't making any effort as I always thought it would mean nothing in the end. Hah!!! I am kinda stupid at this, I know. Those are why I am thinking of just getting out of this mess, leave the intellects at what they do best. I don't want to be branded as the dumbest of them all. But then again, a small voice inside my head says I can conquer this. Just like in college, when I thought I could not do Accounting, I was the only one among my friends who passed the BSA program with unexpectedly high grades. In the board exam, among my high school friends who also took the course, I was the only one who passed it in my first try. In the game of sudoku among my peers, I finished way way ahead of everyone (just trying to uplift my spirit). As luck would have it, my first project in this company, they sent me to Canada for a 6 weeks training and it was a successful migration. So maybe, I am just running through a difficult phase right now. Hopefully, this is just a struggle and in the end it will be a beautiful win. I am making a note to myself, as I type right now, Make an effort!!! Work harder!!! ! I owe this to the manager who  picked me for this project. I owe this to this company who made my dream came true when I traveled abroad on a first class plane. I owe this to my friends who keep saying there's more to me that what I led them on. Lastly, I owe this to myself, maybe I can bounce back from that terrible experience in HS and finally overcome my phobia. It's 1:45 pm, I just have 3 hrs of sleep for today, I have to be at the office by 3 pm. Soldier on, nica. This ain't gonna be easy breezy. The tides are coming. Be prepared and alert.